“Ten years challenge” shouldn’t had been just looking for your physical transformation, but also your personality improvement. While people mostly compare their change of their bodies, faces, or maybe status, I try to look for another perspective that should have been observed. Then I question myself “What had I been improving during the last 10 years?”
On January 2009, I guess I was in the last semester of grade X. At the time, I remember myself as someone sensitive, incapable to control my temprament, quiet person (well, I guess), close minded, and… what else? I don’t really remember it clearly because, hey, it was ten years ago.
Regarding to the main topic, I think I didn’t change that much. I’m still sensitive, but at least I can control my feeling (a little) this time. If you see me as a ten years ago of myself, you wouldn’t meet this calmer Metta. It wasn’t my intention to change and it just happened naturally. I think living in Jogja had helped me a lot to overcome that problem. It was a peacefully living and I meet a lot of people who had bunch of patience. Besides, they were really nice. I can say that their way of living affected me very much and it became a habit for me.
Likewise, I’m still a quiet person. I won’t talk if there is no important matter to talk about. Since this trait is my nature, I don’t think I can change it. However, I’m proud to say that I’m not close minded, which like I was used to, anymore.
Living in various places let me to broaden my perspective. That’s why I love traveling and moving around. When I live in a particular place I would try to live just the way the locals do. I would travel with local transportation or just walk, I would try their traditional meals, have a little conversation with the locals and just enjoy the moment. Living in many places leads me to know many people. During the interaction, I learnt about their personality, culture, and habit. And getting to know a lot of people have improved my tolerance. They let me see something I’ve never seen before.
In the previous post, I told you that I had an unpleasant childhood. It caused me to get a bad impression towards wealth and rich people, up until now if I may be honest. Even so, leaving my hometown had guided me to gradually alter my impression and point of view. It’s true that there were still some persons who had money and haughty, but there were lots of people who showed the opposite.
On the other hand, when I moved to Jogja, I’ve gotten another lesson that “something, sometimes, is not what it seems.” I used to be fed some bad opinion about some kind of people, but I pushed away those opinion after I experience social interaction during my stay in Jogja. I have even been friends with them and since then I always see the good side of a person until s(he) proves me wrong about her/himself.
I think that’s all I’ve learnt during the past 10 years, but, of course, I made it from comparing my life in 2009 and 2019. If the question chose another timeline, perhaps I would have a different answer.
So, in my conclusion, nothing much changed in me. I still have the same characters as the 15 years old Metta had. Neverthless, I did learn some lesson during the period. I learnt to control my emotion and it’s quite successful. In addition, I learnt “Ehipassiko” value, which means “come and see, you’ll know,” and to not think negatively about other people.
Well, since I still own some of my old traits, does it mean that I failed the challenge?