This morning I heard a program in a podcast, which invited Adjie Susantoputro as the speaker. In the podcast, both moderator and the speaker talked about Adjie’s newest book called “Merawat Bahagia.” I generally got a point of this book, which discuss Adjie’s thoughts about happiness. The thing that got my interest was the chapter that talks about love. There was a quote that made me wonder about the one who exactly will be my partner in the future. It is said:
Jodoh itu masih dipahami sebagai orang yang bikin kita bahagia, kita seneng, kita gembira. Malah mungkin sebaliknya.
Soulmate is reflected for someone who makes us happy, but maybe [in reality] it would oppose [the thought].
Jodoh itu salah satu tugas utamanya adalah membikin kita patah hati. Jodoh itu salah satu tugas utamanya adalah mengganjal keinginan kita. Karena hanya seperti itu kita mulai menengok ke dalam diri sendiri. Jadi, orang yang paling kamu cintai adalah orang yang paling akan menyakitimu.
The main role of soulmate is to make your heart broken. The main task is to oppose your dreams, because it’s the only way for you to instrospect. So, the one you love the most is actually the one who hurt you the most.
Soulmate is not someone perfect and is not someone who will always makes you happy. It’s a fairytale dream. S(he) might hurt you, but s(he) also let you become stronger at the same time, and you grow together.
I won’t deny that I hurt some people and, at the same time, they hurt me, too, whether they realized it or didn’t. Although I’ve never been in relationship, I have expereinced the moment that would be similar of having such a special association with some men. I know the feeling of having a strong affection towards someone (I don’t dare to say “love” because it’s such a strong word), I know the feeling of jealousy, and I know how painful it is to let them go.
Once, I was told that I need to taste love in order to get familiar with the pain of your heart broken. And how idiot I would be, which would let me to have a desire to end myself, when my relationship is over. To be honest, I’ve been there and no one knew. If this is kind of the pain the quotes refer, then would my soulmate be the one who hurt me the most in the past? Or would he be someone new who will certainly give me the worst pain?